I work. I hand out pencils. Then I relocate to a different building and I try to tell people how commas work. Sometimes they nod like they get it but sometimes all I see is blankness in their eyes.
There are times when I don't really understand commas.
Then I watch television. I no longer have standards for what I watch. I mean, I knew it was getting bad, but I have arrived at a point where I actually record You're Cut Off! and find myself looking forward to watching it after my day of pencil-dissemination and comma-correcting and it doesn't even really strike me as peculiar anymore that the leader of this entire bizarre experiment is a "certified life coach" and I have no idea what it takes to actually certify a human being as proficient in life-coaching, but apparently this woman is. Actually, Wikipedia tells me that her official title is "Professional Life Coach and Life Strategist."
Maybe I should call her up and have her strategize my life for me.
Because graduation is this year and then what I don't know.
There is a period in the morning after the math placement exam begins when all the little freshies are tucked in and settled and they get 90 minutes for it and there is a good 30 or 40 minutes before one of them needs a new sheet of scratch paper, so during that time I find myself contemplating the future and I think I would like to be a sailor. They at least can grab an astrolabe and steer by the stars. Or maybe not a sailor but one who at least wanders and sees things and watches people and produces things.
But then I think that would quickly become terribly lonely.
Alas, in anticipation of my impending departure from this strange university place, I submit applications to things and look deeply into other things and ask the multitudes for advice on things and one says one thing and others say other things but of course there is no answer in the people who I know for what only my soul can determine for itself.
My 20-year-old soul is much too young to know firmly what it wants. Sometimes it feels much older than 20, though, and creaky.
Urgh. Enough of all this maudlin angsting. It's making me want to roll my eyes at myself. Things come as they will, fall into place as they do, and so on and on and on until death. It's just that classic summer ennui which brings with it far too much time to think.
In other news, I just read this book, The Discovery of Heaven, which I liked very much and think the world should read as well. It's kind of a brick, but worth it, I think.
Very strange, very full of ideas, and very good.
I may no longer make any effort to filter what enters my brain via television, but I do at least still maintain minimal standards for this reading business. Which is something, I suppose.
In other news, it's almost that time of year for Blog Redux. New layout! New layout! Thank goodness because I sure am sick of this one. Must get to work on that.
You know, commas kind of look like stomachs. Is it because they are ample breeding ground for ulcers and indigestion?
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