"what would I do without this world faceless incurious"

Is it possible to be completely burned out after barely a week of a quarter?

Maybe it's just all the built-up exhaustion from my collective college experience coming to bite me in the ass during this particular quarter.

Plus, it's winter. And winter quarter historically just sucks.

Also, Beckett has consumed my brain. I am starting a big two-quarter project thingy on his poetry and I think about him all the time and I think I travel the entire spectrum of human emotion when I read his words. His language makes me love him and then I despise him and then I laugh and then I get angry at him and then I share his melancholy and oh man this is going to be one looooooooong endeavor. That's the only thing that is certain, currently.

He says, in "Quatre Poemes," in part 4:

I would like my love to die
and the rain to be falling on the graveyard
and on me walking the streets
mourning the first and last to love me

So my topic is love. Love and Beckett. Love and Beckett and poetry.

I hate writing about love.

But I love the love in Beckett.

I love that his love stands in such stark contrast to the modernism-ness of the rest of his work.

I will be probably be talking about Beckett a lot for the next five months so strap in.

Man. I love this stuff but I am also just so, so tired of this daily educational grind. I guess I'll just chalk it up to a little winter slump and hope it passes or this quarter is going to be one massive pain in the ass.

I would like my love to die

I would like my love to die

I would like my love to die

Dwelling in his poetry is some kind of alternate universe. I find him infinitely baffling and yet I cannot stop and I want to understand it more than anything. I want to know these poems better than my own language. I don't know if five months can ever be enough for that.

I would like my love to die