You must have been high!

In the wise words of Maynard:

"You must have been, so high.
You must have been, so high.

Steal, borrow, refer, save your shady inference.
kangaroo done hung the juror with the innocent."

I find this entire Michael Phelps debacle rather funny.

I mean, come on! Seriously, people have been trying to kid themselves.

Just listen to about five seconds of any interview with that guy and it's pretty obvious that he probably enjoys a little mary jane every now and then.

Yeeeaaaah.

Anyway. Maybe he and Obama can toke it up together now. And then when they're high and light the White House on fire Bush can come in and douse it with alcohol. Which would be pretty brilliant. And then Phelps can attempt to swim in it.

I just find it funny how outraged people have become at the whole thing.

I also find it funny when people become outraged in general, mostly because what lies beneath the outrage is often fascinating and complicated by their histories.

This has been a slow week for good news. Jessica Simpson's recent weight gain was on the cover of all the tabloids at the store today (what kind of woman eats? That bitch!), and Phelps' little bong incident, and Putin and ABBA.

In other words, it's been an absolutely fantastic news week because I would much, much rather hear about pop stars' muffin tops and marijuana than wars and carnage.

Speaking of bongs, when I was a freshman in high school, there was this girl in geometry who always used to tell us stories about her drug usage while our teacher yammered on about god-knows-what ("guess what I did this weekend, you guys? I used the side-angle-side postulate instead of the hypotenuse-leg theorem!" and then he would proceed to laugh at himself for a very extended period of time...).

ANYWAY, once this girl was like, "so, the other day I was driving and this cop was behind me and I had my bong in the car and so I called my mom and I was like, 'what do I do?' and she told me just to chuck it out the window and that she'd buy me a new one, so I did and I didn't get pulled over but now I don't have it anymore and she still hasn't bought me a new one!"

Oh, high school.

I really forget what the point of telling that whole story was, but I'm sure there was something profound behind it, so maybe just use your imagination, eh?